The Comforting Mum

When I was a kid, nothing mattered more than my friends. Fitting in, being part of the group, feeling cool — that was everything. Like most of us, I heard the classic line from my mom:
“If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”
Honestly? Back then, the answer probably would’ve been yes. Missing out on hangouts, group chats, or inside jokes felt like the end of the world.

As I got older — and moved from the States to the UK at 18 — I lost most of my childhood friends. Starting over in a new country wasn’t as scary at first. I was in college, legally allowed to drink, and made new connections easily. But nothing could’ve prepared me for how difficult it would be to keep and make friends once I became a mom.

I knew my partying days were behind me, but I didn’t expect to lose people just because I traded nights out for nights in. I’ve always been the type to host — dinner parties, barbecues, girls’ nights — I love it all. But motherhood changes everything. Add in a partner who wasn’t social and didn’t support those things, and slowly, my circle disappeared. He didn’t like people over and wasn’t hands-on enough to watch the kids so I could go out. Eventually, the calls stopped. The invites stopped. And I stopped trying.

Now that I’m newly single, I feel like I’m starting all over again. And let me tell you — making friends in your 30s is hard. Trying to spark a conversation with another mom in public without sounding awkward? It feels like dating!

But this week, I took a step. I joined a TikTok “mom group chat” my sister recommended — and it’s been buzzing with stories, support, and laughter. I’ve already spoken to some incredible women, and it’s made me feel less alone. My sister even met a new friend through it, so I’m hopeful I can build something similar.

Right now, I have two close friends — both are new moms themselves. My hope is that, together with our kids, we can start creating new memories, new traditions, and new support systems. Because motherhood is beautiful, but it’s not meant to be done alone.

Motherhood doesn’t mean you stop needing connection — it means you need it more than ever. Making friends as an adult, especially while carrying the weight of single motherhood, takes courage. But even one meaningful connection can change your world. Be brave enough to try.

Affirmation

I am open to new friendships, meaningful connections, and the community I deserve. I don’t have to walk this journey alone.